To the Unmarried

…and the one seeking a child

Bismillah.

I’ve been sitting on this message for a long time because a part of me didn’t know how to approach it, how to speak without sounding dismissive of real pain, or like I’m offering cheap comfort for something deeply personal.

But maybe this is for someone who feels unseen tonight… someone whose heart hurts a little bit when they scroll through announcements, baby photos, engagement posts, or wedding invitations. Someone who wonders why their “turn” hasn’t come yet.

“Kema Allah ya nuna mana naki,” some say with genuine care, concern, love, while others say it with a hint of micro-aggression, as if your waiting is a reflection of your worth. It can sting. It can make you question yourself. But know this: it is He who gives, and He is Al-Hakeem, The Most Wise. What is meant for you will come at the right time, not a moment before, not because someone else demands it, but because the conditions are perfect.

I know it’s cliché to say, “It’s better to marry late than marry wrong,” but there is truth in it. Do not compromise your life or your values simply to fit a timeline. And if you worry about what people will say, newsflash, they always will.

Say your duas. Make them sincere. “Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyyatina qurrata a’yunin wa-j’alna lil-muttaqina imama.” Ask often, ask with hope, ask with your heart open, and leave the rest to Allah. Every du’a, every tear shed in private, is seen by Al Baseer.

And to those who long for children… I know that pain can be even quieter, even heavier. You smile when others share their joy, you celebrate their milestones, but sometimes you go home and sit with questions only Allah hears. If that is you, know that your pain is not invisible to Him. Allah heard the whisper of Zakariyya when he called out for a child in his old age, when hope seemed humanly impossible. Yet Allah responded with a miracle.

Your story, too, is in His hands.

Sometimes we assume that delay means denial, but often delay is protection, preparation, or a path unfolding in ways we cannot yet understand. There are blessings that arrive only after Allah has shaped us enough to carry them. There are doors that open only when the moment is written with perfect precision. The beauty of brokenness.

This, this is where tawakkul becomes something truly beautiful.

Tawakkul is often translated as “trust in Allah,” but it is deeper than simply saying “I trust Him.” Tawakkul means you do everything within your ability, you make the du’a, you take the steps, you keep your intentions pure, and then you release the outcome from your heart. You stop trying to control what only Allah can control.

It is tying your camel, and then sleeping peacefully at night knowing that whatever happens next is already written by the One who loves you more than you love yourself.

Tawakkul is crying in sujood and still believing that your Rabb is gentle with your story. It is making du’a for something with your whole heart while also trusting that if Allah chooses something different, it is still good for you.

It is understanding that Allah’s wisdom stretches far beyond what we can see today.

Tawakkul does not mean you never feel sadness. It means that even in sadness, your heart remains steadfast.

And please remember this: your life is not on hold.

Your days right now are not empty placeholders until marriage or children arrive. They are real, meaningful, living chapters of your life. You are growing, learning, loving, serving, becoming.

Your worth was never meant to be measured by a wedding date or a pregnancy announcement.

You are worthy because Al Khaliq created you. You are valuable because your heart carries iman. You are enough because your existence itself was written intentionally by the One who does not make mistakes.

And if tonight your heart feels heavy, if the waiting feels long, if the questions feel loud, turn back to Him. Speak to Him the way a tired soul speaks to the One who understands it completely.

One day, in ways you cannot yet see, you may look back and understand why things unfolded the way they did. Until then, have tawwakkul. Hold onto hope. Protect your heart from bitterness. And keep making du’a.

What is written for you will never miss you.

And what misses you was never written for you.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

Fa Inna ma’al ‘usri yusra :

Verily, with hardship comes ease